Tuesday, December 31, 2013

It's Teapot Tuesday!!! It's also blog candy time!!

 Recipe: Art Impressions Fence, AI Fronts & Backs, MFT Clouds, Impression Obsession Butterflies, Strawberry Slush and Pretty in Pink SU! Cardstock, Copics

Hey...I'm not a big fan of the handwritten 'Resolutions' either!! But I have NOTHING that is really 'whimsical' and, quite frankly, my idea of a good New Year's Eve is to have a couple of drinkie winkies (as I taught the children to say) and turn the front porch lights off and on several times while yelling "Happy New Year"! That is, if I MAKE it to midnight without passing out from sheer fatigue, moreso than from Vodka.

New Year's was such a great party time when I was in my 20's. Back when I could actually move my hips and dance, without throwing my actual hip out or herniating a disc in my back. I had the energy to party until 2 or 3 in the morning, throw myself on the bed and wake up with smeared make-up. Naturally, I would shower and underneath the make-up was the smooth skin of a 25 year old. Nowadays, I wake up with smeared make-up-you know-the black under your eyes and streaks, WITHOUT EVEN WEARING MAKE-UP.

I also enjoyed flirting with the boys all night. Back then, they tried to brush against me while opening a door for me...today, they have to stretch as far back from the door as they can, to make room for my cane.

Ahhhh...New Year's Eve. A time to resolve to have a consistent relationship with your Botox provider and hope that you qualify for a hip replacement on Obamacare. Oh, Lord. Where's that drink????


***Blog candy giveaway. Until I get a little more creative, let's have fun figuring out how many EMBOSSING FOLDERS-including plates-that are currently residing in my Stamp n Storage box. Winner will be announced on Friday the 3rd. You can enter up to 3 times a day and please make sure to enter on the PREVIOUS POST. Not here. Thank you  and GOOD LUCK!

Monday, December 30, 2013

It's HERE! Goddess Giveaway #2

I DESPERATELY wanted to impress you by coming up with a WONDERFUL contest. Something that would set you afire with a surge of creative flames.

But I got nothin.'

Okay, maybe I have a little something...

I have two trains of thoughts here and would LOVE to get your take on them!

I refuse to give things away via randomizer. Why go through all the trouble of making a card for a contest if it isn't judged on merit? Don't get me wrong...I'll still play the game on THEIR sites, but not on mine. Therefore, my first train of thought is to give a bit of inspiration and have you submit cards. Then, have them judged by two people...the first is my sister, who has been stamping and crafting for 25 plus years and my husband, who don't know sh*t about ANY of this, except that he thinks it costs too much with no return.

OR, I can come up with questions like "How many EF folders do I have?" or "How many times did I go potty yesterday? Number 1 only because a lady doesn't do anything else."

Crap. This is a TOTAL U-PAM (Unexpected pre-adderall moment) When I was growing up, we did NOT talk about bodily functions. It was completely unladylike. I actually had my 10 year old say to me recently, that, because of my fine teachings, until recently, he believed that girls did NOT do ANYTHING but #1. I patted him on the head and told him he was a good boy. But while I can cuss like a sailor, I still refuse to say the 'F' word. No...not the F word you're thinking about...I'm talking about the 'F' word that stands for the bodily function of expelling gas out your rear end. For Christmas last year, my oldest son gave me a magnet that said "Women don't s**t, f**t or b*rp, that's why they b*tch...otherwise they'd blow up." I laughed and immediately disinherited him.

But back to the dilemma. Cute guessing questions or weekly card competition? We can do it any way we like because I'm not beholden to ANYONE, so restrictions be damned!!

Up for grabs this week, a prize pack you'll LOVE!

With the addition of TWO more yards of EH Ribbon (a total of 9 yards of gorgeous satin ribbon!) a custom made vintage stamp, Recollections Chipboard Embellishments, Rhinestone Embellishments and a new Copic Sketch Pen E18-Copper


So, you guys vote on this post...let me know what YOU want to do in terms of competing for prize giveaways. I'll announce the contest tomorrow after 6pm-even if it's a card competition, you'll have PLENTY of time to create a card...unless you're me and you forgot to have your meds filled.

UPAM #2-Adderall is to keep you focused and help you retain things. Yet, I'm always FORGETTING to take it OR forgetting to have it filled. THAT dichotomy should not escape the attention of physicians everywhere.

ANYWAY, let me know and get your friends involved! I'd also like to eventually feature guest work/tutorials/articles whatever. since we're a small blog, we can be a lot more specific about techniques, etc. Not trying to compete with anyone...I just like the idea of having different people with different ideas, who just need a place to exhibit or expose THEIR blogs to a different audience! There's enough for ALL of us!! Lastly, I just want all of us to have fun!


***Blog candy giveaway. Until I get a little more creative, let's have fun figuring out how many EMBOSSING FOLDERS-including plates-that are currently residing in my Stamp n Storage box. Winner will be announced on Friday the 3rd. You can enter up to 3 times a day. Thank you  and GOOD LUCK!

Sunday, December 29, 2013

I'm on a CAS ROLL! Impression Obsession Quick and Simple Card Challenge

Impression Obsession Spiral Daisy Die  DIE071-I
Impression Obsession Sentiment from Thanks Sentiments Clear Stamp Set CL41
Spellbinders Nestabilities Fleur de Lis Square
Glass Brads

Ok...listen up. Business first. I'm entering this into Impression Obsession's Quick and Simple Card Challenge and YOU can't do it as well! You have until Tuesday so get moving! This card took me less than 10 minutes to put together and it even involved hot glue!!!!. I rolled 3 daisies in different colored cardstock and stuck the glass brads through the middle. I hot glued them to the Fleur de Lis square and left enough room to stamp the IO sentiment. I am obsessed with my cards having a big presence and when you're doing the Clean and Simple challenges, it's quite difficult. I'm incredibly proud of this. :)

Now, be sure to tune in tomorrow as there will be another prize giveaway! Right now, it's time for me to take the ol' blood pressure medication and crash. I swear...I take enough meds that, when I die, I'm probably going to be preserved for years. ;)  MWAHHH!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

YIKES!!!

Big things going on! Both my brother...(the guy on the right)


and my 26-year-old son (why, yes! I DID happen to have him at the age of 10!) 


came down for Christmas!!!

I'm so excited!!!

Unfortunately, no papercrafting until the leave on Friday, so I'm having to push the NEW Goddess Giveaway to next Monday, and I'll also have an awesome story to tell you!! 


Friday, December 20, 2013

The 1st Goddess Giveaway is Here!!



Okay, people...this is the moment you have ALL (4 of you)  been waiting for!

This, being my 1 year anniversary in this cardmaking/papercrafting/general monetary black hole of a hobby, I wanted to celebrate by giving things away.

Being that I hate a damned Radomizer (isn't that what Mega Millions and Powerball are all about?) I decided to give away my anniversary prize pack based on your guess as to how many dies I have collected over the past 12 months.

The actual number really scared me a bit...if you averaged 10 bucks for every die...oh, Lord...nevermind...let's just move on, shall we??

The prize pack today consists of the following, NEW items:

A 6x6 On Trend Crate Paper Pad
Copic Sketch Marker E15 Dark Suntan
7 Let's make it 8 yards of gorgeous Ellen Hutson Ribbon
Chipboard ephemera and crystal flourish

Okay..I know I'm stretching this out...but I have to tell you this ...the next Giveaway will be 2 weeks from today. I'll give you the deets on Monday but I will tell you this...the prize will be even bigger....and will include CASH. That's right! Cold. Hard. Cash. I kid you not.

Now, I pleased to announce the winner.

SHONA

Here's here post with her guess:
 
I thought I put in a guess and a comment before, but I don't see it anywhere. The guess was based on my own embarrassing hoard of dies, and I know a lot of people who have me beat by a mile. I guess 163 and if you seperate all your sets into individuals, ie. Spellbinders, my guess is then multiplied by 4.5. My comment was about Kittie (All Hail the Queen !!), and her needing to bear some responsibility for my ever increasing supply of IO dies. Hmm, is that a Kittie style wreath on your card ? Just wondering, as I'm cutting a stack of little bits of paper to make my own. Great card ! Love the icicles!!!

Now, here's the bizarre part. I wrote down the guesses and handed it to my sister. She counted my dies as sets. When she finished the first time, she looked at the paper and said 'No freakin' way'.

She started counting again, ignoring my repeated questions asking what happened.

She wrote the number down and said "Look at this."

I will stand here and swear before all that the number she counted TWICE was this:

162

Un-freakin-believeable.

Shona, shoot me an email with your addy to salome000@aol.com

Congrats!!!

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Paging All Cardmakers...all Papercrafters....STAT...There's an Adhesive Emergency..Probably Stickles Related...I SAID STAT!!!

Memory Box Door and Small Poinsettias, Spellbinders Icicles, IO Tree, Fence, Bird , Martha Stewart Branch Punch for fence and handmade wreath, Copics, Flower Soft



First of all, a reminder: Today is the FINAL day to get your guess in for the 1st Goddess Giveaway! Considering the meager response, your odds are GREAT to win, win, WIN!! Since I'm still a little pouty at said meager response, I'm all throwing in MORE goodies: NOT to make the winner feel good, but to make the winner feel good and boast about how easy it was to win such a terrific prize by guessing how many dies a blogger had and the fact the number didn't matter because only 4 PEOPLE ENTERED!!

Ahhhh...I LOVE the smell of passive-aggressive in the morning, especially when I can execute it via an innocent and unknowing third party.

But enough about the contest-which ends tonight-and back to what this blog is all about...

Me.

This card is going into the Simon Says Stamp Challenge and the Great Impressions Challenge. Both called for glitter and bling. I was going to name this creation "Well, you SAID you wanted &%$%&% GLITTER!" but that might not be in the spirit of things. So, I'm going to call it "Christmas Door" and be done with it.


PAM-(Pre-adderall moment) I'm a bit salty today because after two good days with my hands not going numb every three seconds, it's back to 'normal'. Whether it's hands or personality, 'NORMAL' has never worked for me.

Now that I've established that I'm in 'a mood', I'll explain the title.

At the end of the day, all we do is play with paper... this AIN'T neurosurgery.

We all need to take a step back and stop being so retentive in our nether regions and take time to enjoy what we do. Whether we make challenges or want to be contracted by a company or be on a DT, we have to be thankful that we have found a creative outlet and know that God can work His plans through what we create. In short, settle down and have a sense of humor...learn to laugh at yourself. I can promise your work will reflect it.

Or if you can relax those nether region retentive muscles, let all the glitter you put on your work reflect it, as is exampled above. Heh heh.





Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Tuesday Teapot Challenge-Elvis is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself

First of all, a nod to the late Lewis Grizzard; the Elvis quote was the name of one of my favorite books by him. My second favorite was "They Tore My Heart Out and Stomped that Sucker Flat". Lewis had a real way with words.

I decided to try the Teapot Challenge for the first time. It has to do with a picture of a Teapot, a story and the challenge. Y'all KNOW I'm always up for a story! The only downside was that I had asked if it was some type of children's story and had been told no, that it was "a story told by adults" and somehow my screwed up synapses heard 'adult story' and, needless to say, my expectations weren't quite met.

I was feeling poorly today, so I decided to take the challenge and make a sympathy card for myself. I handcrafted the Geraniums and spent literally all day perfecting every aspect of the card. When I was done, I made sure to write myself a really nice note and told myself that, being I was sickly, it was perfectly okay to eat cookies from the kid's lunch boxes and wear pajamas all day if I wanted to. I also emailed myself a picture of my husband's credit card that I took on the sly, and said to treat myself to something special.

I can't stand feeling as if I've only given part of a whole gift, so I also made sure to excuse myself from laundry and cooking for the rest of the week. It's really for my own good, I said. There's no sense in wearing myself out!!

So, as I sit here munching on the kid's mini Oreos, I reflect on what an incredibly thoughtful and kind person I am, to care so much about the welfare of others. My generosity and selflessness are beyond reproach. I would keep on but I don't want to embarrass myself TOO much.

Besides, I've got some of the school lunch Nutter Butters calling my name.

Recipe: SU! Vanilla, Marina Mist, Soft Sky, McGill Flower Punches, Sizzix Flower Shaping Kit, Verve Classy Label Die, Impression Obsession Butterflies, MFT Crochet Die, Sentiment from Sweet N Sassy. Tim Holtz Distress Markers-Stormy Sky, Broken China, Chipped Sapphire

Monday, December 16, 2013

One Day, My Love Will Return to Me...





Two challenges today, my homies! Try a new technique-clearly dramatic embossing and CAS-Bling it up! Y'all KNOW I have a 'thing' for glitter. We've had a somewhat rocky road together and now, at the behest of the four men in my house, we're no longer allowed to see one another. But one day...one day...we WILL be together again. I just know this. Until that glorious day, I'll have to get all blingy in other ways...today...sparkly ribbon.


Recipe: SU! Old Olive, SU! Calm Christmas, mounting tape, sparkly ribbon

The Truth About The Dangers of Glampers and Glamping Without Protection


You know the drill, people....tech talk first.

 Inspiration Challenge #41  Mark's Finest Papers MFP Speedy TV
My photo choice
Recipe: SU! Pacific Point, Memory Box Door and small window box. Impression Obsession small flowers, leafy branch and grass dies, white lace, Graphic 45 paper.  I began by cutting two doors, one from a piece of white cardstock and the other from the front of the card. Next, I began laying 1/2 strips of Pacific Point paper. Then, using a small, square die, I cut the window in both doors. I mounted the front door, using mounting tape and glue dots. I adhered the white lace in the back and attached the second door. I mounted the rear door frame on the inside of the card. The flower box was filled with IO's leafy branch, cut into small pieces and sections of their grass die for the greenery. The IO flowers were cut and attached with Glossy Accents.

 We've come too far for me to start lying to you now. I never judge people.

At least, to their faces.

I believe we all have an inalienable right to live as we please, as long as my tax dollars don't have to pay for your life choices. Your life and what you do in the privacy of your own home should stay private. Don't bring it into the schools, the workplace or force it into any shared space and then we can all live somewhat happily together, don't you agree?

But there are people who feel their life's work is to inculcate the rest of us with their somewhat...oh H*ll...let's just come out and say it...their smut.

This latest trend of late, Glamping in Glampers, is yet another failure on the decent folk of this great nation. It will come as no surprise to you that this trend originated less than a decade ago in what many know as the "Devil's Playground" 

Also known as California.

How are the rest of us supposed to protect our children when your bad behavior is forcing us to pass you on the highway because you can't drive over 40 mph without losing control? Don't you think it's socially irresponsible to flaunt your obviously unprotected Glamping? You are endangering our youth by instilling the belief they can actually camp in one of these things and be safe! All it would take is a Raccoon-forget that-something even LESS intelligent and adept-all it would take is a Blue Dog Democrat with a pocket knife and a belief you may be willing to sign an absentee ballot and you're TOAST!

How about proving that all you care about is 'looks', with no thought to what's REALLY on the inside? Because the only thing that's inside is just enough space to hurdle an accusation at one's spouse that the two burner stove's mini-propane tank is missing and how is one supposed to cook whatever one skillet unpronounceable French dish- that mostly tastes of garlic with a hint of despair-but since you have wine (in fact, you bought a case which you panicked about making fit but figured out there WAS an extra bit of storage if you left the mini propane tank at home)...there may be a chance you can save this trip that's beginning to spiral down the drain of a toilet you wish you had.

Sidebar:  YOU SIMPLY CANNOT COOK ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE IN SOMETHING THE SIZE OF A HALF-BATH WITH A MINI-PROPANE TANK!

So, you continue to argue as you drive and desperately look for propane signs and ANY place where there's someone who might recognize the words 'Coq au Vin' as French and not some fancy-schmancy California insult and punch you right through one side of your Glamper and out the other, and you made stupid mistakes like missing the freshly killed deer on the side of the road...Good Lord!...don't just drive by it! It's fresh meat! There's a good 80% of that doe that's completely edible! And if you insist on turning up your nose at it, at least be thankful to the full-sized RV that left it for you in the first place!!
So, you return to your Glamper and get hammered and, in the true spirit of the outdoors, you may paw at each other a bit (only with your right hands...your left ones are trapped between the table and the 2 inch piece of padding you call the 'mattress') then finally give up trying to do anything. Now, you're drunk AND you're stuck and all that you have for protection is a quarter-inch piece of tin.

Now do you understand WHY we want to protect our children from the erroneous belief that Glampers are okay to try...at least once. Because that one time may be the last.

And the next thing you'll know, they'll come sauntering in and saying things like "You know, the Gremlin wasn't THAT bad of a car", or turn down venison tenderloin for a clove of garlic and 14 bottles of Chablis.

 While I may not be able to control my kid in toto, or his life choices, I will tell you this: If he shows up towing a Glamper and waving an absentee ballot...well, we'll see how compact a Glamper can be when it's shoved up your A**.


Saturday, December 14, 2013

A HINT for the Giveaway...

Since y'all were SO adorable with your guesses, and SO far off base, I thought I'd throw you a hint:

Here is my die box from Stampnstorage:






It's the largest one they have...

and HERE is how far back my dies go:




and one more pic...you WILL remember that each of those magnetic sheets holds several...sometimes NUMEROUS dies...




Good luck with this. I can't WAIT to tell my sister she has to count these!! LOL
 

Curling up with a good book and wondering why people don't want the free stuff I'm giving away!!




Recipe: SU! Dream Catcher set, brayer, SU! More Mustard, So Saffron, Bravo Burgundy and Elegant Eggplant, Copics and Distress Markers, masking sheets, SU! Bravo Burgundy, Crushed Curry and Whisper White cardstock, Feathers, Suede thong.


First...it's Challenge time. This is for SCS Ways to use it and we were encouraged to draw inspiration from your fave book. Mine is Non-Fiction and I've been telling EVERYONE about it! It's called 'Empire of the Summer Moon' and it has multiple narratives but all centered around the rise and fall of the Comanches. Do you know that the reason Mexico gave such generous land grants to Americans to encourage them to come live in Texas (late 1700's, when Texas was part of Mexico)? It was because Mexico wanted to create a barrier between Mexico and the incessant Comanche raids! Comanches were the first to fight on horseback and mastered a horse like no other. This book was SO astonishing that I read it AGAIN.

And will again, I'm sure.

The second part of my title has to do with my consternation that not ONE PERSON has commented on my previous post and tried to win brand new free stuff!!!! I even handle the postage? What do I have to do? Add more stuff and make it more valuable??? Fine. I'll ALSO throw in a Copic sketch marker-E15- (I had an extra...unused) and will now ask, is this ENOUGH????

Copic Sketch Marker E15-Dark Suntan-retail 8.00
On Trend Crate Paper Pack-retail 6.00
Ellen Hutson ribbon-7 yards-retail...well...I don't know but it's pretty nice!!!!

Don't you DARE think I won't add more!!!
I MAY just continue adding, if I feel like it!! SO THERE!!!!!!!!!

<pouting and refusing to write anything funny until someone pays attention>

Friday, December 13, 2013

The GODDESS is ready to give! Welcome to the FIRST Edition of GODDESS GOODIES!

I've always loved the name 'Blog Candy'. It's hip, it's cute and it's effective in communicating the opportunity for you to win a few freebies, usually by leaving a comment and having the Randomizer pick the lucky winner.

Here, however, it will be called 'Goddess Goodies' and I'm gonna make y'all WORK to win!! <rubbing my hands together in maniacal glee>

So, you're wondering how I came up with the idea to do this, right???

OF COURSE NOT!! YOU'RE JUST EXCITED I'M GIVING AWAY FREE STUFF!!!  This is why I like you people. No having to write a bunch of fancy crap to impress you...you-like me-just wanna win!!! Y'all ROCK!

In my previous post, I mentioned that I entered a great number of Impression Obsession challenges, due to my have a good number of their dies. After posting, I thought that I would give them a count and just see how many IO dies I had.

Oh, my Lord. I'll tell you the actual number later...suffice it to say it went WAY beyond the number 25. And that's just IO dies!!!! And ALL in ONE YEAR!! YIKES!!

To be fair, it's not really my fault. The fault resides with Lee-Anne and her blog, Creatively LA. Click the link and you'll see why I was powerless in my drive to CASE her cards. She was the first blog I looked at when I started and I fell HARD for her work!

But it was THIS that sent me down the road to loving me some die cuts AND to being an Impression Obsession Preferred Customer (in my own mind). The tree was the first die I ever purchased.

If this wasn't enough, Lee-Anne had to go on creating even MORE gorgeous cards that I was COMPELLED to CASE. Next, was this creation that, other than leaving me breathless when I saw it, introduced me to Verve stamps and  ink techniques. I can assure you I've CASEd this card so many times it's ridiculous...wouldn't you?????



If you check out my gallery at Splitcoast Stampers, the very first card I made and uploaded was based on THIS card . I hope you're starting to see who the REAL victim is, here.  hee hee hee

Seriously, though...she took time to answer my questions and I really connected to her work and techniques, although my best isn't worthy of any comparison to her work.

Next was Kittie, who took me down the road of Memory Box and Poppystamps. I mean, really...aren't YOU blown away by THIS???




THIS was Kittie's work that I saw that made me push to the next level. She, like Lee-Anne, is one of the kindest people I've met. She, too, would answer my questions without fail, and NEVER acted like I was a pain in the a**.

And we all know I was, right??? <grin>

LORD, these women have made me spend some money!!!

Actually, they both probably have restraining orders against me. I've mentioned them so many times and thanked them to the point they're probably exhausted by it! But I can't help it...I'm loyal to a fault and when people are kind, I'll promote the devil out of them. If you're ass to me....well...I think we all know by now that the LAST thing I am is quiet about my experiences. <evil grin>  Sorry, ladies...but you're my idols. Thank you for everything!

NOW TO THE FREEBIES!!!

The GODDESS GOODIES GIVEAWAY!!!
I just LOVE the smell of self-promotion in the morning!!!

Here's how it works...Leave a comment with your guess as to how many dies I own. ...the person closest to the exact number of dies I own, without going over, wins the following 7 unopened packs of GORGEOUS Ellen Hutson Ribbon!! (Thanks to Kittie for the idea) Every time you order, EH includes a yard of their gorgeous ribbon. I think she might have sent some extra by accident...there's NO way I could've placed 3 separate orders in October and two each in September and November. Uh-Uh. No way.  ;)





I'll also include a brand new 6x6 On Trend Crate Paper Pad. Still sealed. I'll ship to you at my expense. Winner will be announced on December 20th. You can leave up to 3 separate guesses a day. In the event of a tie, each person will be assigned a number in sequence: 1, 2, 3  etc. with the winner being chosen by Randomizer.



OMG!! This is so fun!!!! Now, I'll have to buy EXTRA to make sure I have Goddess Giveaway items! Whoo-hoo!

My husband, who is popping in and out to read the blog, just now walked out of the room and I can hear him whimpering...hmmm...wonder why???  heh heh heh
 
DISCLAIMER: I don't work for any papercraft company, nor am I paid to endorse any papercraft company. Or craft company. Or ANY company, being that I'm on leave of absence from work. No one has asked me or paid me to mention or promote anything on this blog. The prizes are either purchased at retail by me or received as a gift enclosed in an order I made, and for which I paid retail price. No shennanigans here, folks. I keep ANY shenanagans limited to the means by which I manipulate my husband. Hmmm...why do I feel most disclaimers are different from this one???

Good luck!!! Thanks for playing!!!

Oooohhhhhh.....SOMEBODY done learned to work two challenges at ONCE! What-EVAH will this do to my reputation?

Entered in the Impression Obsession "Think Snow" challenge. To enter this or future Impression Obsession challenges, visit their blog here:

Also entered in the Simon Says Stamp Wednesday Challenge "Let It Snow" To enter this or future challenges, visit their blog here:

Recipe:
Impression Obsession Pine Branch Die  DIE021-N
Impression Obsession Mistletoe and Bells Die  DIE110-G
Impression Obsession Sentiment "Let It Snow"  B8145 
Liquid Applique-White
Ranger Embossing Tinsel in Snowflake
Black, Metallic Silver, Green and Red Cardstock
Glossy Accents
Mounting Tape

I cut the pine branch die twice and glued them together, I then glued the bells die to the branches and used Liquid Applique liberally for the 'snow'. Using mounting tape, I adhered all to the black cardstock, then stamped the sentiment in VersaMark and embossed it with the Ranger Embossing Tinsel

This week is a big one for me, folks. You see, any time I visit my fave blogs or spend time looking at the Splitcoast Stampers 'Dirty Girls'.......

<SCREECHING HALT>  

SIDEBAR...Dirty Girl is the tongue in cheek nickname for a girl in the the SCS Dirty Dozen, which is what they call their current design team...I know YOU already know that, but my husband doesn't and he just peeked over my shoulder and got ALL interested in my 'hobby' all of a sudden. Who knew that all I had to do to get my husband to admire my work and read my blog was to use the phrases 'two at once', 'tongue in cheek' and 'dirty girls' in my posts!

SIDEBAR II...Good thing he didn't see the word 'mounting' or, just moments after he left, see, my hormones deciding to throw a party and bring on a hot flash from Hades, or he may have proposed to me again! Or at least come up off some extra cash for the after Christmas Sales!

SIDEBAR III...I can't believe I'm getting hot flashes at 29! Is that normal??? (heh heh)

Back to the topic at hand, which I haven't even bothered to establish. Sorry.

Many of the girls who participate in challenges are able to take one card and make the design fit two or three challenges. One time, I saw a girl hit FIVE challenges...FIVE...with ONE card!!

Not so with yours truly.

I'm becoming pretty consistent in participating in the Impression Obsession challenges, simply due to my owning a good number of their dies. But not other challenges because I'm kind of 'single-minded' in  my efforts...mainly due to the Adderall I take for ADD. I COULD skip a dose and let the Crazy open every door and see what happens, but I don't like to do that: Allowing that many open doors in MY brain usually leads to forgotten appointments, going to the wrong school to pick up my kids, take-out due to my not being able to follow a recipe, occasional Law Enforcement intervention...well, you get my drift.

But THIS week, two challenges are relatively similar so I'm entering this card into both...a feat that may not impress you and would definitely NOT impress Albrecht, (one of my favorite painters and who I can't help having the hots for every time I see his self-portrait...which is kind of weird, but he IS a hottie...even for a guy from the 1500's)...but being able to create one card to fit two challenges is...well...for ME, it's...well...almost a miracle.

I'm going to go rest on my laurels and toast myself later on...about 5pm...which is the earliest you can have a cocktail in the South without the Pentecostals showing up to discourse on the evils of alcohol (and throw a little tongue speaking in there for good measure) and prevent your neighbors from secretly sending you AA pamphlets and referring to you as  'the lush down at 112 W View.

So, being a girl who has had 300 years of her family reside in this small area of central North Carolina, I'll abide by Southern social rules and wait.

What do you mean by asking what's in my hand? It's a glass of Sprite! What are you talking about? It doesn't 'smell' like liquor...Vodka has no smell! Oh! You said liquor, not Vodka. Oh, Great.

Here come the Pentecostals.




Monday, December 9, 2013

I SHOULD be incarcerated for this!!

Look, people...look hard and look carefully...THIS is what insomnia and possible craft glue inhalation looks like. Good Lord. The ONLY reason I submitted this to SCS Sketch Challenge 465, is because I believe bot it and I can be a cautionary tale...AND I pray it'll count toward any public service I'm ordered to perform.

I hope.

It started with taking a piece of SU! DP at 6 inches and scoring it every half inch. Then, I fan folded it, painted some craft sticks and used crystal accents to gllue them to the fan. I used my big bite to punch holes in the bottom of the stick and inserted a brad and VOILA! A pretty fan. Thinking it would look good on a card, I moseyed on over to Sketch Challenge and thought 'I'll do a quick challenge card." THAT, my friends, is usually the phrase that leads you into the abyss. The fan DOES look pretty on a card...but using it as #1 on a SIX LAYER SKETCH IS MADNESS!!! 

Actually, I love intricate sketches. Did this one work? One second I like it, the next I'm ready to check into card rehab. The ONLY good thing that seemed to come from this is that I FINALLY remembered to take the right amount of Cymbalta. I can count on my doc's approval, at least!!


At any rate, here's the recipe The dream sentiment was inserted into the fan and the metal cherry blossom underneath. A strip of Graphic 45 Bird Song paper and the small swatch of green under the black punched paper to the left is from the same collection. Martha Stewarts fan punch around the page is the punch I used and I put the green in there to balance the color...the punch was to balance the design. 

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Oh no...thin ice coating on road...school will be closed until June...

Angels on High. Created for SCS Challenge Ways to Use It (WT456)

Recipe: Stampin Up! Angelic, Tim Holtz Festive Berries and Mustard Seed, Watercolor pen, gold embossing powder, Ranger Archival Ink and embossing pens, gold metallic paper, basic black paper and backing worded paper from MME Christmas


Having grown up here in the South...the thriving metropolis of McLeansville, NC. to be exact...I always looked forward to school closings. I would take a delay, but school closings-though incredibly rare-were fervently prayed for by every child south of the Mason Dixon line.

When WFMY's Lee Kinard began reading school closings on the mornings we had any type of precipitation after December 1st, I knew things were about to take a turn for the better. My small, rural school was bound to make the list and we were free...FREE! Never mind there were only a couple of snow flurries, the schools down here would shut down tight. The general perception was that a couple of snow flurries were too much for the county's road plow crew, which consisted of two Ford pickups with sheets of metal fashioned into a haphazard plow on the front (they didn't get much plowing done, mostly due to their need to show off in front of the single Dodge that inevitably showed) and a really old guy, smoking cigarette after cigarette, diving a decrepit truck rigged to throw salt everywhere EXCEPT the road.

Later in life, I would end up doing time in Minnesota. Ok. It was a BIG job offer and there was no way I could've said no. Besides, my morning show partner and I went for the interview in October and there are fewer things more beautiful than Minnesota in October. We also got to see the Mall of America and there are fewer things more beautiful than...well...you get my drift.

I stepped on a plane with two kids, headed from Tampa, FL to Eden Prairie, MN in November of 2000. It was 80 degrees when we got on the plane.

It was 17 degrees when we touched down, with a wind chill factor of 11 below.

I'll never forget the moving guys trying to get our stuff in the house at a breakneck pace. Blake, my youngest at the age of 2, was trying to play in the snow in shorts and a t-shirt. He was a gorgeous shade of cerulean blue by the time I snatched him up and tied...I mean "bundled'...him up in a back room.

It was the first of June before it got consistently warmer.

Needless to say, schools in MN NEVER closed during the three years we were there. They had a veritable army of snowplows ready at the drop of a hat to keep the roads open. It truly was a gorgeous place but too much for a Southern girl...at ANY salary.

But back to the here and now. I'm hoping school will be open tomorrow. The kids need to learn and the structure and consistency is good for them. They have fantastic teachers and their day won't be wasted in a classroom. As you can imagine, this reasoning doesn't strike much of a chord with them. So, I remind them of what a snow day at home with me would consist of...and that's mostly me yelling at them for destroying the house and ending with a crying jag, screaming about their lack of appreciation for me.

Needless to say, all three are praying for school tomorrow.

Those are some smart young'uns.  



Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Challenges, Challenges, Challenges!!

SCS Color Challenge-SU! Wild Wasabi, Daffodil Delight and Gold
Dessert-Fussy Cut one item
CC455

 
 
Featured Stamper Challenge
CASE a card from her gallery-change at least 2 things
SCS FS356

FS356 Featured Stamper-Miss Linda-below is her card that I CASEd





You'd think if you only had to make one card a day that it would be a breeze, right? I always thought so!

...and I was a complete idiot.

My doc says I should work my hobby. It's supposed to help me maintain a 'positive mental state' while using fine motor skills and logic and planning and all this other psychological crap. Personally, anything that keeps me from having to clean the house or do the laundry is a plus and that positive mental state is happening, my homies. 

But the fact remains I'm an A type with OCD, who is competitive and who has worked since I was 14. That's 31 years!! Being out of work is terrible. I miss my job and the sense of satisfaction (and the paycheck, of course) that I got from being successful at what I did. 

At home, I'm just the machine in the background that feeds, clothes and performs in a way so that the OTHER family members can go about their business of being significant. 

That being said, I have to say this: I'm alive, my spinal cord stimulator seems to be combating the chronic pain I've battled for almost 15 years and I see my boys in a different light. 

I'm a comedian. I laugh a lot. While this post may sound serious, my  intent is to set the stage for what I'm going to say next:

God is Great, God is Good. 

I'm thankful for what I have and the experiences I've had that have made me grow-sometimes painfully-as a person. I don't believe God is behind the bad things that happen...He didn't cause me-or anyone, for that matter-to have health issues. I believe God is there to use me, my illness or whatever events are going on in my life right now, to His glory and His purpose,

Thank you for going with me on this...I felt the need to assert my beliefs and trust in God and my thanks to his son, Jesus. I'm not sure why I was pushed to write this...maybe YOU were supposed to read it!! :)

I send my love to you, my friends. Thank you for supporting my blog and being there for me. I love you!!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

BEST. COMPLIMENT. EVAH.





Look...I enjoy Christmas just as much as the next Heathen. But I was ordered to give my 'Christmas Carding' a rest. See, no one really notices what I do in my room as long as there's food at hand and a back-up ride to whatever gathering of teen angst is taking place at the moment.

I DID find there to be another way to capture all their (unwanted) attention, and that is to use so much glitter that it recycles through the air vents and into the dryer, where it finds a permanent home in the underwear of the 4 Y Chromosomes that God put me in charge of and said, "Thou shalt make them smell nice. Good luck with that."

I could never bring myself to compromise their manliness by allowing glitter to infiltrate their Fruit of the Looms, so I toned it down and went with a V-Day theme for Splitcoast Stampers Wednesday Sketch Challenge. This theme imposed itself onto me after one of the most heartfelt and downright incredible compliments I've ever gotten in my life.

It was regarding my chocolate chess pie. I know, you're thinking I was told it's incredible. No,  scrumptious. Delicious. Life sustaining. Manna. Food of and for the Gods. Enough to convince Rachel Ray to pack on a few pounds and convince me that she and the EVOO still had a spark in their relationship.

Pffft. All of them are insulting in their obvious understatement.

From the (invariably tobacco stained lips) of Great Uncle Denson-

"That pie's so good that if'n you were to drop if on yer head, yer tongue would beat yer brains out trying to get at it."

The carnation may not be pie (and that's somewhat a shame) and my boys may smell a little suspect but I have truly been touched by True Love today, my friends.

I just wish it hadn't left its spit can behind.


Recipe: Sizzix Thinlets Decorative Accents and Label, SU! Expressions Thinlets, McGill Lg Highland Snowflake and Firoiano Paper Blossoms, SU! Ticket Corner Punch, McGill and Sizzix's Susan's Garden Kit, gold metallic paper, dp, 7gypsies stamp sentiment

Sunday, November 24, 2013

I'm on a ROLL here, babies!!







Recipe:
Impression Obsession Snow Globe DIE122-R
Impression Obsession Small Deer DIE117-C 
Impression Obsession Let It Snow Sentiment B8145
Mirror DP
Black glimmer DP
2mm crystals

While my numb hands situation hasn't improved, my husband's work in raising my computer AND my work desk is helping TREMENDOUSLY!

I'm apparently on some type of strange, spiritual, completely FOCUSED journey...I'm on the path to serenity and total creative freedom. I have reach Zen, my friends. I believe this journey came due to my desire to surrender completely to my artistic urgings.

Or, I accidentally doubled up on the hydrochodone.

At any rate. mama is having some FUN!!

I channeled Ellen on this one and went overboard with all sorts of reflective material. Wait...that sounds like ELLEN goes overboard when, let's face it, there's only ONE person around here going overboard...) Let me rephrase...I channeled mine and Ellen's love of sparkly things but, par for the course, I went OVERBOARD with the reflective material. The only difficultly was in photographing. I literally had to crouch behind the snow globe to hide the phone and my head while taking a snapshot. I thought I'd never get it done. But I did!! Oh, yes I DID, mah sistahs!

Here's my attempt to channel the brilliance that exists...mostly in MY mind...but it exists nonetheless.

I took two pieces of double sided adhesive tape and put a piece of cardstock on the back. I learned how to do this from Ellen's tutorial awhile back at her blog The Serendipitous Stamper. Here's the link to her tutorial  

Then, I took the round globe and cut two rounded pieces from the cardstock, about halfway up the globe. Then I cut the tops to fit together as two snowy hills, took the adhesive off the cardstock and used glitter to cover it. I didn't believe Ellen's claim that you don't use much glitter in doing this but she's right! 

I adhered one snowy hill directly to the globe, while popping the other up over it with dimensional circles. I cut the deer from mirrored paper and put one in the back, while popping the other up to give lots of dimension. I was in a glitter mood, so the mirrored paper and black glimmer base was a given. :)

I was worried the sentiment wouldn't set on the paper, but I used archival ink and it was just fine. Finally, I mulled over how I wanted the inside 'snow' to look. Finally, I realized that I'd not seen anyone use crystals to date (I'm sure someone has but it's 'virgin' to me, baby!) so I went bonkers putting them all over the globe. I had to reposition one because it looked like my deer was having an...ahem...'accident'...but it turned out alright, I think! 


Saturday, November 23, 2013

Is it stealing if I don't remember the website I stole it...I mean, 'remember it'... from?????


Recipe: Impression Obsession Rubber Stamp Sentiment B8145
            Impression Obsession Large Window with Box DIE103-ZZ
            Impression Obsession Fir Tree Dies DIE084-V
            Impression Obsession Spiral Flowers Die DIE042-I
            Designer Paper
            Pan Pastels/White Gel Pen
           Acetate
           Spellbinders Labels
           Crystal Embellishments




Well, look at y'all! You made it JUST in time for "Carmen tries to convince everyone this is merely a challenge entry, while whining about everything from how long it took her to get a half-decent photo, to her latest ethical dilemma, (which SHOULD be why she continues to end everything in a preposition, but actually has to do with her crappy memory) while the rest of you will sit here thinking 'I'll never get these minutes back...this girl needs to be sedated and banned from papercrafting."

Or, as is probably more familiar, "Impression Obsession Inspired by a Quote Challenge".

**1st PAM (pre-Adderall moment) Am I the only person who turns the grammar and spelling check on at the very end of a post, just to see if she can actually make both functions actually explode due to running them too hot????***

Look, people. I'm in a moral morass and I need HELP!

Yes, you in the back. Yes, Ellen. Yes, I did say I needed help with my More-AS* and no...I don't believe we'll need the help of the entire papercrafting community for it, as you so thoughtfully suggested.

She is SUCH a troublemaker.

Back to my morass problem.

See, a while ago, I stumbled on this adorable window scene. I remembered the person had fan folded the curtains and hung them from a kebab thingie. (Watch it, Ellen.) I also remember she'd done one of those evening, silhouette vignettes. But that's about it. I fell in LOVE with the curtains and hadn't really done any color-blending in a long time, so I went with it.

That probably would've been the end of it, except I DID find the picture again. Here it is.



For the record, instead of being filed under 'Cute Stamp Blogs I Can Probably Rip Off Because They're In Other Countries', it was lounging under 'Recipes I Can Probably Rip Off and Say They Were My Grandma's', which was accidently tucked under 'Other People's Identities I Can Probably Rip Off Since I Can't Seem To Find My Own After Four Decades.'

You can see how easy it is to become confused.

SO...let's talk. I've seen the 'evening sky with silhouette vignette' a thousand times. This technique is so dated that even the kindhearted and gentle Beate over at Splitcoast would slam her hand on her craft table and scream "NO. NOT AGAIN!. IF YOU WANT ANOTHER TUTORIAL ON EVENING SKY B.S., YOU GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! NOW PLEASE EXCUSE ME WHILE I CONSTRUCT A LIFE SIZED PAPERCRAFT REPLICA OF THE SPACE SHUTTLE, COMPLETE WITH WORKING ENGINE IN 2 AND 1/2 MINUTES!!!!

The curtains are unique, as they're hanging on a wooden stick, but I've seen HRH Kittie Caracciolo whip curtains out like this in no time, not to mention having been the first person I encountered who made her curtains from scratch.

So, while I know there can't be any hard and fast rules, what is it that changes the S from 'share' in CASE, to 'steal'?

Discuss! Except for Ellen. I'm keeping an eye on you, Missy.


















Friday, November 22, 2013

Evening Quickie (Evil Grin)



Trying to catch up on xmas card uploads! Writing is a little sketchy, due to numb hands...ok...lack of talent figures in there, too. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

PTI Woodgrain embossing plate
Poppystamps small poinsettia die
Cork
Unidentified horse stamp

Monday, November 18, 2013

Impression-Obsession's Challenge-Tag It!



Tomorrow is surgery day. While I'm glad I may be at the end of over a decade of leg pain, I'm not looking forward to the next week. Recovery is icky. Not showering for 10 days is even ickier. I can promise that if I don't start winning a challenge or two around this place, I may bring my ickiness over to visit.

Well, peeps...I done made a tag. I took an IO snowflake to make impressions over the gaw-geous salty ocean distress paint then clear embossed. Next was the bronze overlay that I let dry a bit before wiping most of it off in hopes that most of you will murmur in hushed tones at how easy I make distressing look. Never mind this is the ONLY TIME IT HAS EVER WORKED FOR ME IN MY LIFE! All that matters is that YOU, dear people, will never know this.

I painted the largest snowflake of the three with bronze distress paint, glittered it up and suspended it. I used my IO sentiment to finish it off.

Recipe:

Impression Obsession Snowflakes Die Set DIE024-X
Impression Obsession happy holidays sentiment B8784
Tim Holtz Distress Paint Salty Ocean and Bronze
Spellbinders Circle Dies

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Dealers, Goons and Restraining Orders...Suck On THAT, Sizzix!

 Look. I don't enjoy fighting.

Okay. I occasionally enjoy it with my husband.

FINE. I occasionally enjoy fighting with my husband AND Democrats.

But that's IT! As far as you know.

I certainly don't enjoy fighting with the people who supply my habit. I mean, really...where's the sense in fighting with your dealer? It's stupid to irritate the people who hold those very fragile strands of happiness in their dirty, little hands. Why would you think that aggravating these people could possibly constitute a good life choice?

If anything, I'm one of those people whoseek praise on a regular basis and I people-please to the point that I'm on a first-name basis with restraining orders. Note: Yes, there ARE people who don't care to have you do a little landscaping or wash their cars or clean their homes. At least while they're on vacation. But you can rest assured that I let my dealers know they will have no trouble with me. They know I pay in full and quickly. No excuses here, friend! I'm not going to risk running into a die or paper shortage by p*ssing off Ellen Hutson (I hear she's a martial arts master who ripped out her Sensei's  heart to show it to him before he died. Or maybe that was a movie I saw. Nevertheless, I'm not tangling with her), neither do I fancy having my Grand Caliber broken by Tim Holtz goons.

Now I have the giggles. Visions of what a 'Tim Holtz goon' might look like-images of excommunicated Stampin Up! demonstrators threatening to put my various appendages in a Vagabond until I repent and promise to join the 12 Tags of 2013, with a bonus tag that spells out a promise to learn how to use fragments and LIKE working with that damned chipboard, along with a pledge that I will learn to define, spell AND pronounce the word 'ephemera'- is going to derail me permanently, if I don't pull this post together soon.

Back to the dealers. When it comes to this choice of...'hobby'...the one thing I can count on are instructions. Not just one set either...with EVERY project I've attempted, I average at least 50 youtube hits and thousands of blog hits that are just waiting to help me. Mostly they confuse me and I spend the entire time yelling at the women to stop ticking their tongues between sentences and using the word 'kewl', etc. but let's go with the word 'help'. It makes me feel more Christian.

Until now.

With it being Christmas, I thought I'd really go out on a limb and purchase a Susan Tierney-Cockburn "Don't Hate Me Because I Can Make More Realistic Flowers Out Of Lint And Nose Hair With My Pinkie Than You Will Ever Be Able To Make With 100 Of These Kits, You Hopeless Loser" poinsettia.
 





For those of you NOT familiar with Susan Tierney-Cockburn, she is THE Goddess of papercraft flowers
and while the average Jane CAN pull it off, STC will always be the person who is large and in-charge of this particular genre. I love her but I'm totally scared of her, too.

I REALLY wanted to put this together because I was determined to send it to a VERY special person who reads this blog and has helped me tremendously. She helped me find my way, my genre and generously gave me her time. I hadn't seen her create this flower and thought 'HEY! I'll make it and send to her and it'll be PERFECT!!!'

But it wasn't to be.

There were scant directions on the back of the card but I wasn't worried...I knew I'd find some help on the ol' internet. But I didn't. There wasn't ONE video on youtube. Neither was there one on Sizzix. I called Sizzix and was told there was no video because the product 'was too new'. WTF? I BOUGHT IT AT HOBBY LOBBY!!!

I was on my own, people. And it was ugly. You've seen my work...I could very well be the first person to EVER be banned from Susan's flower dies! There was a lot at stake and, if Susan were to divorce me, I would be looking at an empty future and fussy cut flowers. I. Could. Not. Fail.

Turns out, I conquered and its On its way to its intended come this Saturday. It'll actually turn out to be an awesome gift!

And  you can't even see the lint and nose hairs. Wow. I effin' ROCK! HA HA!!!






DISCLAIMER: I'm a humor writer and hope I don't leave the impression that I have any animosity toward those mentioned in my blog. I happen to love Susan, Ellen and Sizzix. I was merely poking fun to cover the 'boasting' of having mastered the die set on my own. I really AM proud! I just didn't want to be TOO in your face, so I had some fun. Thanks for taking my words with a grain of salt and if it puts a small smile on your face, I feel like I didn't something right. :)


Recipe:   
Pan pastel gold
Pan Pastel Bright Yellow Green Shade
Spellbinders Fleur de Lis Squares Die
Lifestyle Crafts Whimsy Embossing Folder
Stampin Up! Champagne Glimmer Paper
White Liquid Applique (I mixed this with a little reinker for the stamen tips)
Distress Ink Reinker Wild Honey
Sizzix Accessory Tool Kit by Susan Tierney-Cockburn