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Monday, December 16, 2013

The Truth About The Dangers of Glampers and Glamping Without Protection


You know the drill, people....tech talk first.

 Inspiration Challenge #41  Mark's Finest Papers MFP Speedy TV
My photo choice
Recipe: SU! Pacific Point, Memory Box Door and small window box. Impression Obsession small flowers, leafy branch and grass dies, white lace, Graphic 45 paper.  I began by cutting two doors, one from a piece of white cardstock and the other from the front of the card. Next, I began laying 1/2 strips of Pacific Point paper. Then, using a small, square die, I cut the window in both doors. I mounted the front door, using mounting tape and glue dots. I adhered the white lace in the back and attached the second door. I mounted the rear door frame on the inside of the card. The flower box was filled with IO's leafy branch, cut into small pieces and sections of their grass die for the greenery. The IO flowers were cut and attached with Glossy Accents.

 We've come too far for me to start lying to you now. I never judge people.

At least, to their faces.

I believe we all have an inalienable right to live as we please, as long as my tax dollars don't have to pay for your life choices. Your life and what you do in the privacy of your own home should stay private. Don't bring it into the schools, the workplace or force it into any shared space and then we can all live somewhat happily together, don't you agree?

But there are people who feel their life's work is to inculcate the rest of us with their somewhat...oh H*ll...let's just come out and say it...their smut.

This latest trend of late, Glamping in Glampers, is yet another failure on the decent folk of this great nation. It will come as no surprise to you that this trend originated less than a decade ago in what many know as the "Devil's Playground" 

Also known as California.

How are the rest of us supposed to protect our children when your bad behavior is forcing us to pass you on the highway because you can't drive over 40 mph without losing control? Don't you think it's socially irresponsible to flaunt your obviously unprotected Glamping? You are endangering our youth by instilling the belief they can actually camp in one of these things and be safe! All it would take is a Raccoon-forget that-something even LESS intelligent and adept-all it would take is a Blue Dog Democrat with a pocket knife and a belief you may be willing to sign an absentee ballot and you're TOAST!

How about proving that all you care about is 'looks', with no thought to what's REALLY on the inside? Because the only thing that's inside is just enough space to hurdle an accusation at one's spouse that the two burner stove's mini-propane tank is missing and how is one supposed to cook whatever one skillet unpronounceable French dish- that mostly tastes of garlic with a hint of despair-but since you have wine (in fact, you bought a case which you panicked about making fit but figured out there WAS an extra bit of storage if you left the mini propane tank at home)...there may be a chance you can save this trip that's beginning to spiral down the drain of a toilet you wish you had.

Sidebar:  YOU SIMPLY CANNOT COOK ANYTHING OF SUBSTANCE IN SOMETHING THE SIZE OF A HALF-BATH WITH A MINI-PROPANE TANK!

So, you continue to argue as you drive and desperately look for propane signs and ANY place where there's someone who might recognize the words 'Coq au Vin' as French and not some fancy-schmancy California insult and punch you right through one side of your Glamper and out the other, and you made stupid mistakes like missing the freshly killed deer on the side of the road...Good Lord!...don't just drive by it! It's fresh meat! There's a good 80% of that doe that's completely edible! And if you insist on turning up your nose at it, at least be thankful to the full-sized RV that left it for you in the first place!!
So, you return to your Glamper and get hammered and, in the true spirit of the outdoors, you may paw at each other a bit (only with your right hands...your left ones are trapped between the table and the 2 inch piece of padding you call the 'mattress') then finally give up trying to do anything. Now, you're drunk AND you're stuck and all that you have for protection is a quarter-inch piece of tin.

Now do you understand WHY we want to protect our children from the erroneous belief that Glampers are okay to try...at least once. Because that one time may be the last.

And the next thing you'll know, they'll come sauntering in and saying things like "You know, the Gremlin wasn't THAT bad of a car", or turn down venison tenderloin for a clove of garlic and 14 bottles of Chablis.

 While I may not be able to control my kid in toto, or his life choices, I will tell you this: If he shows up towing a Glamper and waving an absentee ballot...well, we'll see how compact a Glamper can be when it's shoved up your A**.


5 comments:

  1. Now how cute this is! Wow, you layered every board with love and added a beautiful door with handmade flowers. I love your lace curtain and the IO door. I keep saying I am going to get one of those cute doors, but so far I have not.

    Now I think it would be fun to have a cute little glampers. (It might be an adventure to dodge the dangers of Glam camping) :)Heck, maybe even fun to live in without a huge area to clean, high taxes and utility bills. As far as having just a mini stove, all I need is a microwave and vending machines instead of the stove and fridge. :)

    Thanks, for joining us for the Speedy TV Inspiration challenge this week.
    Hope you join us again next week.

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  2. Okay fine. Maybe I fell in love with a pink one when they had a little show here last year. Maybe I talked with my husband about renovating one. . Yes they are absolutely adorable and I love them. But if I'm going to be completely honest right now I have to say this: I want one of these so badly I can taste it. what I see in my mind is packing up all my craft stuff, and meeting up with friends and having like a big Glamper convention. Would that not be incredible? We'd have the best time! the challenge was one of the best and most fun I've participated in and I really appreciate you letting me know about it! You're a great moderator or guest host or God is in charge whatever they call you there. I know I sure like you! :-)

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    1. I think it would be fun. Glam camping stamping convention. :)
      Make sure I get a camping spot I can pull straight into. My trailer backing abilities are really not good even withmy truck's backup camera. :) Hey, I may not have a glamper, but maybe I could use my 6X10 enclosed trailer. Hee

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  3. Goddess in charge. Boy it's hard to text and drive!!

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  4. Well, Shirt and Carmen, I would love to join you at the Glam camping stamping convention; however, I am going to be completely honest and let you know I will be staying in a near by hotel and driving over to stamp with ya'll. I will also be stamping in a tent with mosquito netting all around as well as I can not stand bugs! I will have a large generator to run my computer, printer, fan, and lights as I don't like to be hot, can't create without my computer and printer, and I can't see much without really good lighting. I did also show hubby the pictures and ask about the possibility of one, but as he knows me well (and that I would need all those other amenities and hate the heat and bugs), he just shook his head and declined to comment. Oh well, it is all fun to imagine!

    Seriously, they are adorable but I am with you on the lack of protection part - bugs, critters, and mean-intentioned people could plow right through the thin walls and open windows.

    Wonderful card - love the blue walls and that totally cute door. You did an incredibly great job on this card and your post is hysterical. Thanks for joining us in the MFPSpeedyTV challenge and glad our Goddess in charge let you know about it. Play again with us and I promise not to be so late commenting (at least most of the time anyway).

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