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Monday, February 3, 2014

A Superbowl of Nachos and Tears: A Love Story. (With Cocktail Weenies)

This Superbowl was something special. It was the first that my 15 year old son participated in, and he watched along with his step-father. Naturally, they rooted for opposite teams. I had a decent time, playing them against one another, until my husband said something stupid to irritate me. Then it was game on: I was going with my kid for the Seahawks all the way.

It was about this time the Hawks let everyone know they were going to win. So, my son and I really let the hubby have it. Now, I don't think I'm's more that I really suck at 'timing'. Because it really WASN'T the moment to ask the hubby what he thought about the card I slaved over for hours. But I did and he squinted and said, "What is that green crap at the bottom?" Wounded, I said "It's Hosta...I love Hosta' know this!!"

" just looks...well...clumpy, I guess."

I cried at the loss of the love we once shared, but after devouring leftover nachos and a third of a crockpot of cocktail weenies, I was able to gain control and perspective of the situation. It's obvious he said what he did-not because his team lost and he was teased about it- but because he has a 21 yo girlfriend stashed somewhere, who lives on nothing but air and sunshine and thus stays a permanent size 2. Furthermore, her father is wealthy and she and my husband will travel the world, feeding caviar to each other (with no thought to their unwashed hands, I bet) on her sailboat, all while I'm stuck here with a teen, a tween and a 7yo autistic kid who was unhappy with some of his stuffed animals and sentenced them to the gulag, which happened to be the oven. (How was I supposed to know they were there? Besides, one was some zombie was already ugly...what did a few scorch marks matter? It just added to the whole concept of the zombie, right?) I realized I couldn't do this alone and that I would go apologize and I'm going to do that right this instant.

Hold on...there's still some tortilla chips and cheese available, and a cocktail weenie on the carpet.'s no big deal...just rinse it off!!! What was I talking about?? Oh, look! TWO weenies!!!


  1. You crack me UP! What a funny story! The game was very boring......especially because my team didn ot win! But it's a super bowl and cocktail weenies make up for anything. I do love your card, whether it looks "clumpy" or not! Maybe you can teach your hubby the real reason for our craft..... to create with our little fingers, and get some good advice from our girlfriends... (I love the card)

  2. YOU are my new you live close to NC? I'm talking about anywhere from, let's say, east of Ohio, because my 15yo just got his permit and would drive with me to the gates of Hell, just to cruise slowly past any movie theater or Sonic, trying to look cool while hissing-stay down...STAY me out of the corner of his mouth. If not, chances are I won't be able to stalk you but I pledge to do my best.

  3. LOVE the card and the greenery works for me! Really enjoyed your story, it was so funny I had to share it with the family, and had to see if anyone knew what a cocktail weenie was.
    Can't say that I watched the Superbowl, to me football looks like a bunch of freakishly large guys trying to flattenen a smaller guy while he's running for his life. Take away the "ball", and the lined field, and I think it's called Bullying, and happens in playgrounds everywhere! Then again, what do I know? The sport I watch, involves guys with blades on their feet !